▷ Beyoncé high notes are louder than your WiFi signal

There are singers, and then there is Beyoncé, who seems to have discovered a way to weaponize oxygen itself. Every time she hits one of those glass-shattering high notes, dogs in three different zip codes start reconsidering their life choices. Forget 5G towers, Beyoncé’s voice could probably power nationwide cell service if she held a whistle note long enough. The craziest part is how casual she makes it look, like she’s just ordering a latte while her lungs are auditioning for NASA.

Her high notes aren’t just sounds, they’re seismic events. Entire arenas vibrate as if she installed a personal earthquake machine in her diaphragm. Imagine standing at her concert, thinking you’re safe in row 200, and then suddenly feeling your eyelashes flutter from the vocal wind pressure. It’s like Beyoncé doesn’t sing to the crowd, she air-fries them. Honestly, someone should install speed bumps for her vocal cords before she accidentally launches a fan into orbit.

And it’s not only the pitch, it’s the timing. She’ll be dancing full cardio Zumba Olympics, sweating diamonds, and somehow belts a note that could slice through marble countertops. Most singers would need a chiropractor after half of that choreography. Beyoncé? She casually hits whistle register while squatting lower than your knees on leg day. At this point I’m convinced her lungs were forged in Wakanda using vibranium and Beyoncé just refills them with sparkling water.

The legend grows because every fan is waiting for the next impossible note. It’s almost a drinking game at this point. Hear her hold a high C for twelve seconds? Take a shot. Survive a G6? Congratulations, you’ve unlocked new WiFi speed. No wonder her concerts feel more like endurance sports than entertainment.